Few missing links

Welcome back to the self-syndicated weekly news analysis column that looks at the key events with socio-economic consequences that happen in our country. First, on the parliament election results. After conducting exhaustive psephologic researches and socio-political analysis - by watching the ever breaking TV news flashes -, I have come to a conclusion that two important factors worked in favour of the Congress party this time. They are a) People voted for its candidates b) The electronic voting machines actually worked, which again is largely attributed to having government officials in charge of them instead of techies, which would have given the others some hope at least, even if they are the Republican Party or the Kuomintang party.

Moving on to the economic impact of this verdict, we saw the stock markets booming at an unprecedented pace post-results, and for the first time in the history of Indian stock markets, trading was halted due to markets hitting the upper limit; of greed. Analysts and experts see this as a very healthy sign because they could not only make more money but also appear more time on TV that day. Another positive thing to note is the change in mindset of Indian voters this time - they have elected many young MPs to the parliament and also ensured their parents are elected too, so that the youngsters won’t be left unattended in parliament. From an economic angle too, this is good because we now need only one minister in charge of both parliamentary affairs and family welfare.

Though many experts say the noticeable trends this time are the left parties being left out, the right party proven wrong, the center party getting the edge, the bollywood bloopers party** having to go back to what they were good at – making pornographically palatable pranks - etc, in my view, the most significant change is that our news channels who are otherwise suffering from a dreaded disease called ‘Paid News Syndrome' are becoming good in one thing – prognostication; they can now perform a job that was hitherto possible only by astrologers - make wrong predictions, yet appear right. For example, certain channel predicted 220 seats for UPA; which they claim is very close to the actual number of 260; they are right, on a scale of 1 – 10000000 it is.

If you have read this babbling so far, that means you are either a) A member of the third/fourth front, who got nothing else to do at the moment b)Google search crawler who got it as a job. Either way, I shall switch from politics to some other significant developments during the week to have this analysis a balanced one - between media hype and reality that is. Here is a court verdict that will have far reaching consequences – the supreme court has ruled that ‘One who obeys his wife rules the world’. A landmark verdict indeed, those who are up to conquering the world now know where to start from and those who are getting married know what awaits them.

Before I wind-up, being a person of science I got to mention one of the landmark discoveries/inventions of the week, which is one of the biggest ever as well according to many experts. Scientists have found ‘the missing link’ in human evolution, which turns out to be a lemur, and not a typical monkey as many of us thought wrongly. Some scientists said this is the “closest thing we can get to a direct ancestor”. Now that confirms my theories on our relationship with lemurs on two key aspects, One - they too exhibit female social dominance; you remember the court verdict, don’t you? Two - they use their tails to communicate with each other, and that’s why this discovery is called the ‘missing’ link which obviously is the tail.

**If this party doesn't exist now, somebody from the six-packs khan-daan can think of launching it, future will be thigh thy.