Saturday, July 20, 2013

Guruji's Column - Part 5

Hello children,

Guruji is back, he will start answering your questions right away since he has no real-estate thugs or political heavy weights fallen on his palms at the moment that stops him from penning down the answers.

[Q] Prem asks from Pune - Your Holiness, many spiritual gurus and religious leaders expect people to kneel down in front of them or touch their feet or kiss their hand to show respect. Do I need to do any such things when I come for your darshan? If not what should I do to show my respect to you?

[A] Guruji - Son, a spiritual guru demanding or expecting such acts by his disciples is not a true guru. A true guru should be humble and must respect all fellow beings. Because for him, all human beings are equal. When you visit Guruji’s ashram for darshan, do not engage in any such acts to pay your respect. Instead, if it’s at an accessible distance, you may wipe his holy bottom though.

[Q] Dimple from Delhi asks - Your Holiness, the western culture is spreading into our society very fast, be it about relationships, food habits or clothing. Is this a good thing or bad? To what level can we Indians adopt western culture?

[A] Guruji - To the knee level should be ok.

[Q] Anonymous asks - Guruji, the rich are trying to lose weight while the poor are trying to gain it. Is there a synergy here that can help both?

[A] Guruji - Son, though you anonymously asked this numskull question, Guruji (with his extra sensory powers) see that you are an urban upper middle class person with a consulting job. Guruji assume you got this question in your mind while a homeless person asked you for a small donation while you were coming out of your speciality weight loss center who you pay foolishly to make you starve, in an attempt to get rid of the paunch you think is the one thing that stands between you and the women of your dreams. Guruji’s answer to you is that the poor are not trying to put on weight, they are trying to stay put. And his advice to you is, never ever use the word ‘synergy’ in front of another human being, you may spew it on your powerpointer boss instead if its that irrepressible.

[Q] Malini asks from Mangalore - Guruji, will we Indians ever learn some basic manners? If so when?

[A] Guruji -  When it can earn us dollars

[Q] Pushpakumar asks from Pushkar -Guruji, you only address your women disciples 'Dear', are we men not dear to you?

[A] Guruji - Son, Guruji is not only a spiritual leader but also straight.

Ok dears, Guruji got to leave now as its time for a special darshan - to a few of his special followers, that include a union minister, a fortune 500 CEO and a couple of other endangered animals. 


  1. The last comment from guruji was the best, cant stop laughing as yet. Truly, it has been a wonderful experience to read your blog.