Saturday, July 6, 2013

Guruji's column - Part 3

Hello Children!

Guruji is here to talk to you all, to provide you the ultimate answers to your spiritual and personal problems and doubts. Let us get started.

[Q] Nalini asks from Chennai - Guruji, sometimes I have to hire an autorickshaw to reach my office. But the rikshaw drivers always demand double the meter charges. When I refuse to pay, they call me a stingy person and what not. Are they greedy or I’m stingy here? Is it ok for one to become angry under such circumstances?

[A] Guruji:- Nalini dear, anger is no solution to any problems. In our busy life, we tend to forget what compassion to fellow beings means. We only think about ourselves, our priorities, our needs. For a moment think about the poor auto-driver, his struggle to make ends meet. You may share your feelings with him, that how he and his mucky, putrid, wretched forefathers will burn in hell while vultures relish on their baboon brains for looting and bullying customers in this fashion. Your anger will vanish.

[Q]  Ram from Ramnagara asks - Your Holiness, No matter what I do, my wife always complain. For example, if I don’t clean my shoes, she complains that I dirty the rooms. Now if I decide to clean it one day, her complaint is that I dirtied the sofa. What should I do? If I take up arguments with her in such situations, will I become a mule in my next incarnation?

[A] Guruji:- Ram my son, Guruji advises you to abstain from such vicious thoughts of taking up arguments with your beloved spouse. Because no man has ever won such an attempt yet. “Rajanikant ONCE won an argument with his spouse” goes an old Indian proverb. But don’t worry about becoming a mule in next janam, it won’t happen. Because you will be one in this janam itself if you take up arguments with her.  Clean the shoes outside, things will change.

[Q]  Manohar writes from Najafgargh - Guruji, I’m an Indian male, living in Delhi. My weakness is women. Whenever I see a woman/girl in the market or in a bus or train, I feel the urge know what I mean. I know it’s evil to have such thoughts, yet I’m not able restrain myself. Please help me, how can I overcome this?

[A] Guruji:- Manohar, if your statement started with “..I’m the Indian male..” it would have been apt. Nevertheless, yours is a psycho-physical problem that can be corrected with Guruji’s (patented) ayurvedic medicine “Mirchakatika-choorna”. Get whats called “Bhut Jolokia” in ayurveda(biological name Capsicum Frutescens), make a pulp of it and apply it around all your bodily fluid outlets whenever you feel the said urge. In a few week’s time, you should become a normal human being. Do let Guruji know if things don’t change, he has more advanced yoga and ayurvedic techniques as well for you. 

[Q] Arnob from Calcutta asks - Mahatma, what is Enlightenment?

[A] Guruji - Son, enlightenment is the highest spiritual state that even the greatest gurus aspire for but may go to samadhi without attaining. One has to pass through many many years of dhyana, yoga and pranayama to acquire Enlightenment. Guruji for example is yet to be an enlightened one! Enlightenment is a state when one gets her/his tax refunds credited.

Ok children, time for Guruji to go. May his blessings with you all, provided you enroll for his Yoga classes.

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