Saturday, July 27, 2013

Guruji's Column - Part 6

Hello brothers and sisters of hell,

Gurujji is here with you, his cyber-disciples after his regular morning darshan to his direct disciples - that include(but not limited to) the milk man, the news paper boy, the municipal garbage collector and people from many other walks of life who walk into his Asharam so early that Gurujis day starts when it ends astronomically.

[Q] Kiran asks - Guruji, the Western media calls a riot a riot when it happens in the third world, but if the same occur in their world, its a mere  ‘civil unrest’. Isn’t this racism?

[A] Guruji - No, it is narcissism.

[Q] Urmila asks - Guruji, my husband is an ‘opinion-addict’. He keeps watching news channels and reality shows listening to unbearable expert opinions, resulting in I losing my mental stability often. I am thinking of filing for a divorce. Will I be considered a sinner if I do so?

[A] Guruji - Dear Urmila, firstly you are asking Guruji for an opinion on how to handle a person addicted to opinions. How paradoxical! Coming to your problem, divorce is no solution to marital issues. In fact it will only worsen your life as you are now  subjecting yourself to hatred and despair. To get over this situation, you could practice Guruji’s (patented) ‘Banjan-kriya’. This is a yoga technique where you take the heaviest accessible object and hit it hard on the subject of concern till the object or subject or both of them break(s). In your case the subject could be the TV or the husband's head, depending on which one you think will be more useful for you in future when separated from one another. For example, the TV could be useful to keep you updated on the latest trends in weight loss techniques while a husband will come handy when you want to clean the ceiling fan. Guruji leave that decision to you.

[Q] Helen asks from Helsinki - Your Highness, I’m a single woman and also a devotee of yours. I’m planning to visit the holy Ashram soon. Is there any dress code for a woman traveller in your country?

[A] Guruji - Dear Helen, in a free and fearless country like ours, you may feel free to wear anything you like, as long as you have this or this over it.

[Q] Gaurav asks from Mumbai - Guruji, in this age of internet and computes, what in your view is the single biggest benefit computers bring to humankind ?

[A] Guruji - A decent Rs 2000 it can earn you in a scrap deal.

[Q] Guruji, why do some Indian women wear short T-shirts, yet are very conscious about it and keep attempting to pull it down?

[Guruji’s Blog Moderator - Removed this from list of questions to Guruji as it is not a spiritually relevant one. You may re-send the question if you have spiritual concerns about the said act. ]

[Q] Anonymous asks from Delhi - Guruji, I’m a celebrity new generation author with a huge fan following. All this while I had been inspired by epics and history and made many best sellers. But now my conscience keep telling me I was copying. Is it so? What is the difference between plagiarism and being inspired? Please help me Guruji.

[A] Guruji - Son, there is a big difference between filching directly and being inspired to do so. For example, if you are eating your own dog’s dog food, its filching because by that act you are depriving the him of his rightful earning. But if you are barking in public to draw attention like your dog does, you indeed are being inspired by him because you are not stealing his bark. Guruji’s advice to you is to think over it clearly and take your stand. Also to ease the tension sit back, relax and enjoy your dog food, you will be all right. You have Guruji’s blessings.

Ok children, Guruji got to go. It’s time for his meditation, hence he is going to step into the city traffic. May his blessings be with you.

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