Sunday, September 22, 2013

Guruji's Column - Part 14

Ladies, gentlemen and Guruji’s disciples,

Guruji has kindly set aside an hour of his otherwise busy - he mean binge - weekend for you, so let us get started.

[Q] Padma asks from Chennai - Guruji, recently an Indian-origin girl won Miss USA title. Do you see a changing world order on the way here?

[A] Guruji - No Padma, instead he see a handful of Bollywood flops on the way.

[Q]  Saleem asks Salem -  Guruji,  most religions promote Creationism, but science teaches us the theory of Evolution.  Which is correct?

[A] Guruji - Son,  both the theories are talking about the origin of man ( Let's talk about women in another more private a forum). The only difference between these two theories is on whether we evolved from god or monkeys. Behavioural studies show that the monkey theory is correct. But the most important thing here is that we evolved from somewhere and did not fell of the sky one day, like the BJP spokeswomen in TV.

[Q] Sunil asks - How come we Indians never did any groundbreaking inventions like Westerners or Japanese?

[A] Guruji - Son, that is because we are the only people who realized the value of unbroken ground in real-estate market.

[Q] Chottu asks from Chota Nagar  - Guruji, why do Congress leaders prefer to wear khadi?

[A] Guruji - For the same reason why supermodels wear high-heels; they think it makes them look more sexy.

[Q] Sam asks - Mr.Guruji, what is the difference between spirituality business and other businesses?

[A] Guruji - Sam son, in other businesses it is ethical to be unethical while here it is unethical to be ethical.

[Q] Smitha asks - Guruji, I am a 22 year old P.G student, one of our neighborhood uncles is trying to be friendly with me of late. I somehow feel his intentions are not all that good. But I’m not sure. Can you use your spiritual powers and find out whether his objectives are wicked or not?

[A] Guruji -  Dear Smitha, you need no spiritual powers here, just offer him a scooter ride one day, his ununcleness will come out in some form or another. And don't forget to offer him a good elbow as well in that case, to mark your respect to the erstwhile uncle. 

[Q] Juhi from Juhu asks - Guruji, both men and women eat the same kind of food, yet men are physically stronger than women. Why ?

[A] Guruji - Juhi dear, this happens because of one big difference in their eating habits - Men like to eat and will, while women like to eat, but won't. 

- End -

1 comment:

  1. ROFL! such wisdom. And this was my favourite - Men like to eat and will, while women like to eat, but won't.