Saturday, October 5, 2013

Guruji's Column - Part 16

Ladies, Gentlemen and Disciples,

Guruji is here with you, do get started with your questions and concerns.

[Q] Saleem asks - Guruji, what keeps you motivated?

[A] Guruji - Son, it’s his deep faith, his belief, his optimism that keeps Guruji motivated to continue with his karma - his faith that one day god will take birth on earth and save mankind from all our perils and agonies by eliminating poverty, inequality and Bangalore motor-bikers.

[Q] Ram asks - Guruji, for a layman, what is the difference between an astronomy and astrology?

[A] Guruji - It is the same between a dentist and a tooth fairy for a person with dental caries.

[Q] Anonymous asks - Gurudev, I am a successful businessman and also an ardent follower of yours, if your holiness recollect I wiped your holy bottom the maximum during the last looseness season. My problem is, on my way to success and richness, I did many wrong doings, I have bribed many officials to get things done my way, evaded tax, illegally mined raw materials, encroached public land and what not. But now I repent about it and fear about what punishment awaits me when I die?

[A] Guruji - Son, don't worry, continue doing the good deeds you mentioned, especially the wiping part, you may extend it to other needy people such as godmen and politicians too. And as a reward for your services, Guruji shall recommend you posthumously for the post of chairman of Board of Control for Cricket in Hell.

[Q] Amruta asks - Your Holiness, A colleague recently told me that she is 'spiritual but not religious' . What does it mean?

[A] Guruji - Amruta, it means she is drunk but not zonked.

[Q] Kumar asks - Guruji, whenever a movie or a painting or a caricature is published with religious figures being the subject, there will be some or other group coming out demanding “this should be banned because it hurts religious sentiments”. What exactly is religious “sentiments”, why does it get hurt so fast?

[A] Guruji - Kumar, in a deeply religious society like ours, religious sentiment is something almost inborn in every one of us, just like how rhinos have their - ok, let us not talk about rhinos as it might hurt someone's religious sentiments somewhere - bulls have their balls. So you can see that the bull will bellow when someone hurt it’s vitals. 

[Q] Kumar asks - ..but Guruji, my question was about religious sentiments and not bull-vitals..

[A] Guruji - Son, the membrane between them is very thin.

[Q] Chottu asks- Guruji uncle, chicken or egg, which came first and why?

[A] Guruji - Dear Chottu, it's chicken that came first, because egg took time to boil, cool and peel.

[Q] Max asks - Guruji, even today there are a lot of people who can be fooled with magic-healing and things like that. Who should be held responsible for misleading people in this fashion ? Religions? Spiritual leaders? Politicians? education system?

[A] Guruji - Max son, the one person responsible for all this is mother nature, as she couldn’t keep up with the promise of evolution of human brain.

- End -


  1. Guruji, who is your role model ? :P :P

  2. Motivatingria,

    A spiritual guru ought to be a role model himself, hence him seeking a role model will be like a musk deer going after eu de cologne. Now if you part the role and come to models, he prefers she who said “I undress, there for I am”