Friday, August 23, 2013

Guruji's Column - Part 10

Hello Children,

Guruji’s seasons greetings to all - on this Murder & Rapes Season. Let us get started.

[Q] Sam asks - Mr.Guruji, Dr.Dabholkar had to pay by his life for telling the truth. Why no spiritual leader or guru staged satyagraha and jumped from the dais seeking justice?

[A] Guruji - Sam, Guruji had already answered this in a previous dialog. We spiritual leaders will respond only if someone come shoving our own bottoms or try to reclaim the land we grabbed. It is not in our karma to stand for people who do the mistake of thinking rationally, logically etc.

[Q] John from Kerala asks -  I’m nearing 50s and is having this constant fear of becoming old. Is there any yoga technique that can keep me young?

[A] Guruji - John son, yours is a simple anxiety syndrome common among men nearing retirement and can be easily cured without going bankrupt learning Guruji’s yoga techniques. Here are few things you can do to overcome this - Stop aspiring for younger women, stop looking down at your ponch, stop watching Mammootty movies and start spending your leisure time doing some of the challenges that you always wanted to take up in life, such as driving around the country in a Bullet, keeping a donkey as pet, tinkling on your neighbor's lawn etc. All your anxieties will vanish and you can lead a happy retired life.

[Q] Chandini from Chandini Chowk asks - Gurudev, I would like to come to The Ashram for darshan. What are the timings?

[A] Guruji - Dear Chandini, Guruji’s direct darshans are stopped for now, mainly due to security concerns - on STDs and hidden cameras that is.

[Q] Anil asks - Guru, I read somewhere that you have postulated a new “Athi-Vishisht-Advaita Siddhant”. Can you briefly explain the crux of this Siddhant?

[A] Guruji - Son, Athi-Vishisht-Advaita Siddhant or AVAS is a relatively new school of thought in theology, put forward by Guruji. Though it has multiple dimensions and is deep-rooted with many spiritual, philosophical, social and theological aspects that forms the undercurrents of this theory, the crux of it can be explained thus - “Spirituality and spirit business are two sides of the same unlaundered undergarments”

[Q] Hema asks from Hyderabad - Your Holiness, my husband is a public servant who made a fortune through wrongful means.Today we have bungalows, estates, cars etc because of this. For a while my conscience tells me that it is all wrong and I should persuade him to become an honest and righteous person. But then my conscience also tells me that my five star salon and supermarket will then become unaffordable for me. What should I do? Will I become a leech in my next janam if I continue like this?

[A] Guruji - Hema, Guruji’s advice to you is that for a moment, think that your husband is not taking money but accepting sexual favours as bribe. If your consciences is still ok with that, you may continue to enjoy living on his fortune without worrying about becoming a leech, as two consecutive incarnations will never be the same for a soul.

[Q] Yogesh from Pune asks - Guruji, I am a college student, when I go out wearing my red or yellow trousers, some people stare at me. Why do they do so? Isn’t it bad manners to stare at someone?

[A] Guruji - Son, they are not staring at you, they are just perplexed; that why the T-shirt is not golden.

Ok children, time for Guruji to go, as he has to deliver the keynote address on universal brotherhood at the world spirituality convention, happening at Tirupati Bar. May his blessings be with you all till we meet next time.

[Guruji’s Blog Administrator ] -  Many of Guruji’s disciples ask us on why their questions are not answered. Every week a few selected spiritually relevant questions are presented to Guruji by the editor. We request the disciples not to be disappointed if your questions are not included this week, we will ensure that it is considered next week based on availability of space; in the dustbin we mean.

1 comment:

  1. Guruji hits a century again - today the best part was definitely taking bribes.