Sunday, August 18, 2013

Guruji's Column - Part 9

Gruffladies and Gentlemen,

Guruji has arrived on the dais now, let us get started with your questions.

[Q] Savita asks from Bangalore - Guruji, in this 21st century also there are a lot of people out there who are  superstitious, ultra-religious and intolerant. Why?

[A] Guruji - Dear Savita, it is because there still are a lot of 20th century born airheads and their offsprings out there.

[Q] Gopal asks  - Guruji, you have been living in this world for many centuries and have seen many emperors, kings and now democratically elected governments. What in your observation are the main differences between then and now?

[A] Guruji - Only one my son, back then the capitals had better sewage.

[Q] Lata asks from Latur - Your Holiness, why does it always have to be the woman who pays for marriage and the life thereafter in this country? Will it ever change?

[A] Guruji - Dear Lata, it is a fact that we lost more women to marriages than all other calamities put together. Women’s organizations and social leaders like Guruji have been fighting for independence and self-sustenance of women for many decades. We have won a landmark achievement about a decade ago by getting women the right to control the remote during prime-time serial hours. Such changes now are also spreading to other important social aspects such as mobile phone consumption, L-board driving, cosmetic-spending etc as well. Guruji foresee that awakening of women in this country is inevitable and is happening already.

[Q]Max asks - Mr.Guruji, why many of you spiritual gurus including yourself keep multiple “Shri”s in front of your name ?

[A] Guruji - We originally wanted to keep multiple Sthris, but since that could invite legal and other hassles, we decided to settle for Shris. 

[Q] Aishwarya asks - Guruji, what is the difference between Eau de Cologne and Eau de Toilette ?

[A] Guruji - Dear Aishwarya, though this question is not a spiritually pertinent one, but because this is a question that has been troubling many people for years, Guruji The Sarvaj├▒a will answer it here. In Osmology, these are two different fragrances of aromatic compounds, classified based on their scent in comparison with that of two spots. In French, “cologne” stands for colon and “Toilette” is a water-closet. “Eau de” can be translated roughly to “Your damn” in English.

Ok children, Guruji has to leave now, to handle a mid-month crisis - of his creditors and suppliers knocking his door on the Sunday morning.