Saturday, November 16, 2013

Guruji Speaks-Self Realization

[Editor- This edition onward Guruji's weekly enlightenment column will be titled "Guruji Speaks" as Maa Purba had advised Guruji to do so for numerological reasons.]

Ladies, Gentlemen and CBI officials,

Guruji has arrived on the dais, do get started with your questions.

[Q] Shanti asks from Shantiniketan - Guruji, I read in one of your books that to take up a spiritual path in life and become a spiritual mentor, one has to achieve “self-realization”. What is this self-realization and how will one attain it?

[A] Guruji - Dear Shanti, you have read the right book(unless it was a pirated copy picked up from the foot-path) and read it right as well. Self-realization is the biggest factor what leads one to the path of spirituality, apart from his/her criminal background that s/he want to cover up of course. It is the realization that you are good for nothing else.

[Q] Anonymous asks from New Delhi - Your Holiness, a top government official recently made a controversial remark by using an analogy “…it is like if you can’t prevent rape enjoy it” while talking about legalizing betting in Cricket. I would like to know whether a) Was this the right analogy to use in that situation? b) If not what was the right one there? and c) What is the correct place to use the said rape analogy?

[A] Guruji - Son Anonymous, if you ask questions in such parliamentary language, your anonymity will wither away. Now coming to your question, answer to a) Is no, this wasn't the right analogy in that situation b) The correct one on Cricket bettors would have been "If you can't screw’em, join them" and c) The analogy used by the official will only suite when we are talking about speeches of prime ministerial aspirants.

[Q] Sam asks- Mr.Guruji, you have mentioned many times in recent past that building statues of political leaders is the one stop solution for all the problems faced by our country. Isn’t this promoting superstition, idol worship etc? How is it possible that a statue can bring prosperity to a country?

[A] Guruji- Son Sam, Guruji’s is not a superstitious theory, instead it is based on experiments and socio-political analysis that Guruji had been conducting for a while now. His finding is that an average concrete or metal statue has got a much better brain and heart than the incumbent/aspirant leadership the country has.

[Q] Pandit Pushkara asks -. Guruji Mahoday, I am an astrologer by profession. Now that India is sending a satellite to Mars or Mangal Graha, will that have any influence on that planet’s  GOCHARA  and thus the astrological dimensions associated with it ?

[A] Guruji -Son, Guruji conducted a detailed “PRASHNA” on this subject as the space agency’s top management itself had such worries and they personally asked Guruji’s advice before taking the decision to send the satellite on 5th of November. They were worried whether the satellite will be a MANGLIK and crash land in Indian Ocean due to being positioned in 5th HOUSE. Fortunately, Guruji’s PRASHNA shows that neither mangal graha, nor the satellite are going to be influenced astrologically because, the only thing that can ever get influenced astrologically is the astrologers bank account.

Ok children, Guruji got to leave now as his day’s karmas, darshans and market facing kriyas are to be completed. We shall meet here again next week unless Guruji gets a priority boarding call from the heavens. May his blessings be with you all(except those into statue building or are justifying it in TV)

1 comment:

  1. hahaha epic...I am liking this GURUJI...and MAA PURBA is always right!